Mothers

Today is Mother's Day. 

I wanted to take the time to recognize all the mothers that have guided me.  First, my mother.  I am truly grateful to have a mother that cares.  We have been through so much-ups and downs, and she is still always around for me.  She is such a caring grandmother to my children, and has always been willing to watch them or help me after I've had a baby, bring in food, clean.  So thank you, mom.  I love you. 

Next, my amazing sister.  Where do I start?  I have always looked up to my sister.  We are 9 years apart so growing up, we weren't that close.  She went away to college when I was 9.  I LOVED when she came back home, especially when I was older so I could borrow some of her cool college clothes.  When I became a mother, we had an even greater bond. We even had three pregnancies at the same time-each time our due dates were 3 weeks apart! She has helped me more than she could ever know.  Love you, Marchelle.

I am also grateful for my mother in law. She raised such a hard working boy, and I believe my husband is the way he is now because of her.  He tells me all the time that they had to clean everyday because his mom "made them."  Well, I'm thankful for that.  His normal everyday chores were more tedious than my once a week Saturday chores and it shows.  He cleans way better than me. It's almost annoying how he can clean the entire kitchen and mop and clean the living room and the bathrooms in 2 hours.  I can barely do that in a whole day.  He gives his all into everything he does.

I am grateful to my sweet grandmothers.  They raised amazing children.  They were and are amazing examples of charity, kindness, love. 

And lastly, I wanted to share a few words with all of you mothers reading this. 

While this journey has definitely not been an easy one, I really wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here.  I'm not going to say that I wouldn't change a thing, because that would be a lie.  We are mothers.  There are always going to be things we would've gone back and changed.  We wouldn't have lost our temper over the chocolate milk that was just spilled down a brand new white shirt.  We wouldn't have resorted to spanking when we felt like nothing else was working.  We wouldn't have yelled at our kids.  We would've tried to understand them first, before getting angry.  It's how it is though, and we move forward. 

 

I am 26 years old.  I was 19 when I had Kalie.  I was young and inexperienced.  But it was life changing.  For the first few years, I would often think of all my friends that were living a "normal college life."  I would be envious of them.  Those years are the years that you're supposed to find yourself, find out who you are and mature.  I had to mature on June 30, 2006, a year after I graduated high school, when they laid that little baby girl into my trembling arms.  I no longer had to worry about just myself, but a sweet child of God that had been given to me.   I remember when I had that moment though.  The moment when I realized, as hard as this is, as much as I would like to be able to go out whenever I wanted to, I am so content with this blessing called motherhood.   I remember feeling so grateful that I am able to have children, when I've seen so many others bear the heartache of not being able to.   With each child I have had, I have become a little more understanding of all mothers.  I have felt hurt, pain, confusion, depression, sadness, anguish, loneliness, cried numerous amounts of tears-of pain and joy,  felt inadequate to be a mother.  I know all of you have felt these things and more.   While I've been writing this blog I have wanted to help and relate to mothers going through similar experiences, but I hope that even if you don't have a child with different issues, you can be inspired as well.   I hope  you can know it's ok to feel these things, because all of us mothers do.  What I have learned though, in my 7 years of parenting, is that we can't believe those feelings of inadequacy, or that we are alone, like no one can relate.  We must press on and find joy in our journeys. We can all relate to each other in some way. Think of how much joy there is in this journey of motherhood.  The joyous times we have had with Kalie are what I cling to.  I know that they are there and I will not stop until I find them again.  I am so grateful for the laughs and the hugs, the silly times, dancing and singing together, times spent reading together, coloring together.  I am grateful for all you mothers doing your best, and fulfilling your calling of being a mother.  You are all examples to me in some way. 

 

 Have any of you read the book I Am A Mother by Jane Clayson Johnson?  If you haven't, I suggest you go read it, now.  This book was so inspiring to me and really helped me understand motherhood more, and realize how many moms feel the exact same way.   There is a story in it about a young divorced mother of seven children and this is her story:  "' As I turned around to walk back home, I could see my house lighted up.   I could hear echoes of my children as I had walked out of the door a few minutes earlier.  They were saying: "Mom, what are we going to have for dinner?" "Can you take me to the library?" "I have to get some poster paper tonight." Tired and weary, I looked at that house and saw the light on in each other rooms.  I thought of all those children who were home waiting for me to come and meet their needs.  My burdens felt heavier than I could bear. 

 " 'I remember looking through tears toward the sky, and I said, "Dear Father, I just can't do it tonight.  I'm too tired.  I can't face it.  I can't go home and take care of all those children alone.  Could I just come to You and stay with You for just one night? I'll come back in the morning." 

" 'I didn't really hear the words of reply, but I heard them in my mind.  The answer was: "No, little one, you can't come to me now.  You would never wish to come back.  But I can come to you'".

 

I just love this!  I have definitely thought this before, yesterday, in fact.  It's so easy to want to remove yourself just for a night from the busyness of being a mother.  Then I read quotes like this from Sheri Dew: "'it's no wonder that Satan has declared war on motherhood.  He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire.  And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.  When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman's most sacred role'".  When I read this quote, I remember my purpose.  I remember just how important it is that I remain righteous and loving, for my children, for Kalie.  I have to strongly declare "I am a mother" and follow the examples of all the mothers in my life.

 

 Happy Mother's Day everyone.

Listen to my favorite mothers day song ever!