So many emotions Pt. 2

I wanted to touch on Kalie's emotions now.  When she was just a baby I always noticed if we had been out a lot or she had been passed from person to person she would be extra grumpy and wouldn't sleep well.  As she got older it was different things- going to a friends house, going to the park, shopping, going to grandparents house, birthday parties. Anytime we did something like that she would come home and completely melt down.  Crying, yelling, hitting, kicking, mean words. The intensity of these outbursts got worse with age. There were sometimes where we had to physically hold her down-arms pinned, legs held- so that she couldn't hit us or anyone else.   This was about kindergarten time.  I had just had Kaden a month before she started kindergarten.  Remember when I said after I had Kyna she went downhill and her hair pulling got really bad?  See how these things are over stimulating her and how she is reacting to things? 

 

Now let's bring in the results of her assessment again.  So Kalie is 6, but she has an auditory processing speed of an 8 year old and a visual processing speed of an 11 year old.  Suddenly, so much is making sense.  There IS something behind her frequent outbursts.  The reason she is having these is because she's taking in so much information at such a high speed that it's just getting jumbled and lost in her brain and so the only thing it knows to do is to react and in turn, Kalie reacts.

 

I feel guilty that for years I had been so frustrated with her.  I had constantly been blaming her for acting out and throwing these insane tantrums.  When all along, it wasn't in her control and she was probably just as confused and frustrated , if not more, with everything going on inside.

 

Nothing makes me happier than when we have had days free of contention (it was very rare for years which is another reason why we chose to do this program; emotionally,we can't keep this up) without hearing that my 6 year old daughter hates me.  You see, for Kalie, if something does not go her way, or what would be a normal chastisement or rule given to any other child, it is the end of the world.  She just cannot process it and it instantly makes her angry.  I can't tell you how many times I have heard that I am "the meanest mom" and that I should go somewhere else, or that she hates me.  I can tell you already that with two weeks of the program down, I haven't heard that phrase "I hate you" once!  She still has outbursts but she is now able to calm herself down much quicker and think things through.  I really believe that the emotions she will be feeling will be more positive as we continue with her journey, and I can't wait to see her progress.