When we first met with one of the teachers at Brain Balance, we were told that around week 4 we would notice a big change in Kalie. A big change, as in it would seem like she is going backwards and acting out worse than before. They have seen it in almost every kid that they have worked with. She told us its because there are parts of the brain that have never been stimulated and now that they are being stimulated, it's trying to balance itself out. It's a good thing. Needless to say, I have been prepping myself mentally for this infamous 'Week 4'. And guess what? We're on week 4.
The past couple of days have been pretty dang challenging. I have been having flashbacks to a year ago. Remember when I told you that when she was in kindergarten we had to hold her down so she wouldn't hit us or kick us? That's where we are right now. She is defiant, mean, saying hurtful things and screaming at us. When we hold her (gently) she screams "You're hurting me!" and kicks and tries to pull our arm to her mouth so she can bite it. Now a year ago, I would've been able to hold her but would've been so angry by the time the whole ordeal was over that I wouldn't want anything to do with her afterwards. It took me along time to cool off and it took her, sometimes, up to 30 minutes to calm down before we could let her go. I'll give you an example of one of her recent 'Week 4' meltdowns : So yesterday when she got home from school we started our normal routine. I asked her to do her homework and she got it out and started doing it. She misspelled one of the words so I just let her know that it was wrong and asked her if she wanted me to help her erase it. She yanked the pencil out of my hand and then grabbed her homework and moved to stand at the desk. When I walked over to her she ran to the counter. When I walked over there, I asked her if she would go sit at the table so she could do her best work. She yelled "FINE!" and sat down. She then proceeded to write her words sloppy and dark, pushing really hard with the pencil. I took the pencil and asked her to do her breathing. It went downhill from there. She just started saying mean things and stupid this, stupid that. Then she tried to get down. I knew what would happen if I let that happen. She would run to her room, slam the door as hard as she could, and start screaming in her room. I didn't want her to lose control that easy. I gently, but firmly, put my arms around her and kept telling her to breathe so her brain could think things through. The whole time she was fighting me- bit me once, screamed in my ear "NO! NO! I HATE BREATHING!". It took about 3 minutes and all of the sudden she stopped. I gradually released her. She breathed.
After about a minute of breathing, I asked her, quietly, if she was ready. She said " Can I please have a tissue?" and got back to work, writing everything neatly. A year ago, I would've been so mad and would be seeing red. Yesterday, I was sad for my daughter. Hearing her scream 'NO' and thrashing around uncontrollably brought tears to my eyes. How I wanted this to be over for her. How it pained me to see her struggle like this.
They weren't kidding when they said there would be a change this week. We are enduring though. It's hard to tell people about this 'Week 4' because I'm worried that they are thinking this isn't going to work. Believe me, I wondered the same thing. Then I think of all the things that have improved. Her reading, her confidence, her ability to calm herself down. I mean look at yesterday? She stopped her tantrum 20 minutes earlier than before. Something is changing. Something is balancing out. Slowly, but surely, we will have our happier, healthier Kalie.
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